Thursday, June 11, 2020
Undercover granny warning!
We all know that Trump needs to have an enemy identified to feed to his supporters to hate. In 2016 it was the immigrant caravans coming from Mexico. We haven't heard much about them recently since Trump has found a new group to feed his supporters. The new group is Antifa. Particularly the undercover elderly members of this group. While the far-right terrorist groups are the number one terrorist threat, the Washington Post has helpfully given us a guide to identifying if our grandparent is secretly a possible Antifa terrorist. Here are some of the things to watch out for:
1) For your birthday, she knits you an unwanted scarf. To be used as a balaclava?
2) She is always talking on the phone with an “aunt” you have never actually met in person. Aunt TIFA????
3) He “trips” over and breaks your child’s Lego police station when walking through the living room in the dark.
4) Suddenly, for no reason, will appear or pretend to be asleep
5) Carries peppermints (chemical irritant?) in purse at all times.
6) Is taking Centrum Silver. But for what reason? Surely to build up strength for the coming confrontation.
7) You gave her a Precious Moments figurine of a law enforcement officer, but she hasn’t displayed it.
8) She claims not to know how to use her phone, yet always appears upside-down on FaceTime, which should be impossible without hacking capabilities.
9) Remembers things from the past in incredible, exhausting detail, but recent ones only sporadically? Cover of some kind.
10) Gathers with loose-knit, disorderly group of figures you have never met to play “mah-jongg,” governed by mysterious “rule cards” issued annually from a nebulous central authority.
You have now been warned. I am sure these warning signs will soon be posted on the overhead signs along our interstate highways. Give another definition of a Silver Alert. Maybe this one could be called a "Golden Alert."
Besides tornadoes here is another reason to avoid Oklahoma.
Posted by duanestclair at 10:35 AM